What I've Learned

So far, so boring.

Life is boring because we play it safe. We delete things we should highlight. We dilute things we should distill. It is like driving on an interstate highway and hoping that everyone will obey the speed limit and abide by driving rules. They won’t. And that is what screws up those who play it safe.

I am searching for the things that people do not want to see. In such things, I have found the seed of our redemption as well as the root of our destruction. Those things shame us and hopefully, they will shame us to the point that we desist from doing them again.

Indifference is a nursery where inhumanity germinates. There is no greater destructive force on earth that is stronger than indifference. You are much more harmless if you clap for the powerful or kick the powerless than when you opt to be indifferent.

Vigilance is not cowardice.

How I wish truth will cease to be relative. But since it won’t, I will always lean on the truth as told by those who were the casualties of life – those who died; those who bear the scars; those who lost people; and those who lost possessions.

I used to believe Mozambique’s Samora Moises Machel that for the nation to live, the tribe must die. Now I know that it is like saying that for the anthill to live, the ants must die. It is the ants that build the anthill. For the anthill to live, the ants must be valued, celebrated and their consent must be obtained on the structure of the anthill they will live in.

A lesson from history is a terrible thing to waste.

I believe that as soon as you have a baby, your dreams begin to fester. Maybe that is how it is supposed to be. You begin to leave some things out. You begin to think about the next generation as if the work of your generation is done. Each diaper you change, changes your perception of life.

I know that no genuine struggle for survival is left unrewarded forever.

What is the use knowing what time I woke up, if you don’t care about the time I went to bed? I pulled into my driveway at 11.30 pm Sunday. I had spent the weekend in Boston. My household was asleep when I got in. I immediately went on line to read and reply my emails. I went to bed at 1.20 am and at 5.15 am I got up to get milk for Ijeamaka, my two year-old, who had woken up and was pounding on the mattress. She had not seen me in two days and when she saw me, she smiled and said with a surprised tone, “Wait a minute!”

Women! What about women? I haven’t heard anything about women since the days of my fathers.

Really! Turn that damn thing off and tell me about it.

Sex? I am an African - we don’t know anything about that.

Then it must be one of those things we are barred from speaking of in public.

Bling, bling! I do not wear Jewelries. I won’t know the difference if I saw them. But I have heard a lot about diamonds, how women won’t hate a man so much as to return his diamond. In light of that, I swear that I will put in my diary the name of the person who will buy me my first diamonds.

I drive a Toyota Camry – boring and ordinary, just like me. In fact, the color and model of my car is so common that I have not left the mall without first trying my keys at one old lady’s car. One old lady once caught me doing so and attempted to hit me with her handbag -as if that would scare me.

My favorite sandwich is steak and cheese from Great Steak & Potato Company. But if I cannot find it, I will always go with Burger King, number 5, biggie size.

I despise those characteristics that I do not have – like genius. Those that remember phone numbers without looking them up - those who drink Kahlua with ice and those tiny umbrellas on top, like models on some warm Islands - those who can resist saying what is on their minds - those who can swallow a smile - those who drive cars with navigation system.

For the best vacation, I will go to Brazil, during the Carnivals. Oh…. That is the heaven they talk about. That is also the place where one can fish for lost African souls, for there are many there.

I will retire to the place I want to die- which is Geneva, Switzerland.

Favorite time of day is anytime Fresh Air is on. It varies depending on the city where you are. Hi Terry.

When I was little, I had wanted to marry Janet Jackson. When I grew up, I upgraded it to Halle Berry. When I finally got married, I married Edna because she had more than Janet and Halle put together. In addition, she knows how to make bitter-leaf soup.

I am currently reading the nutritional facts of Aquaifina pure water. I cannot believe what I am seeing. I have always had the impression that I was drinking pure water.

I have no favorite ice cream. I am lactose intolerant – so please do not remind me of what I am missing.

I can live the rest of my life without writing again. Not even a check. Somehow, no one, not even my worst critic wished for that. That is cool.

I don’t use but in a sentence. I don’t think anyone but the devil should. But is the logo of purgatory. It makes me feel as if we are already in that room where the not-so-good and the not-so-bad wait.

Do I have any tattoo? No. In case you have not noticed, my skin is black - that is enough tattoo already.